Late Bloomers

Late Bloomers Final

I can’t explain what it is
that draws me to someone
all I do know
is that when it happens
it is deep
it is dangerous
and it is impossible to break

late at night
with eyes closed
my mind alive;
with thoughts of you

I am losing time
it may already be gone
so I say to you now
even though it feels
I like you more than
I should

it’s 12:01
and I wonder if you ever look at
the time and think
of me

it had been so long since
I navigated your features
from across the room
but you didn’t know that
I did that
never would

I crept outside
and told the night sky that
I loved you
and it was

I hope you understand that
when I speak the words
you consider just how hard
it was to say them to

I look at you
you at me
and time stops
just for a second
and we hold each other’s gaze like it’s
the last thing
we will ever do

the lines I would cross
you have no idea
the things I would do
you could not imagine
just to be with you

the attraction you can’t explain
yeah that one
I feel you

my fingertips trace my brow
my body, adjusting
the chilled air now apparent
to my senses
the winds outside whisper to me
the words clutch to my lips
but do not leave
my chest, tight
the night before flickers
I place my hand on his back
this place is my comfort
here, right now

that day in the meadow
do you remember?
with the blades of grass so green
it was if they had been painted by hand
one by one
and the whistle of the wind
against the surface of the water
letting us know that Winter
would soon be here
but it wasn’t the grass
or the wind
or the water for that matter
that absorbed me so deeply
it was you

water stains and blue bottle
I glance away and clench my fists
you’ve been here, I know
sandalwood and citrus
I will always know

it’s midday as we lay between the lemon trees
it’s the middle of summer
you’re here for a few days
your mum has a new man in the house
but you don’t get along
that’s fine though
because you’re never home
you wish you could pack up and move away
maybe here with me
I never extend the offer because we both know you would say yes
and eventually you would tire of me too
I think you know this too so you don’t bring it up
I don’t think I could handle that
you getting tired of me, of us
it would break me
so I will take the few days we have now, between the lemon trees
I love you
I think you love me too
but we are passing by each other in ways that don’t allow
the type of love we would inhabit

you filled me like warm water

you were the first thing I looked at
on a Sunday in the middle of march
a moment between your exhales
where I thought
maybe I want to give you the world

and how you’re so at peace
when you sleep, it’s as if
you and the universe
have agreed to let each other be
completely fragile and undisturbed
if only just for a moment

seven days with you, that’s all it took
seven days with you, and all I wanted to do
was whisper, endlessly
‘I love you’

being with you scares the hell out of me
because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able
to un-love you

so for right now
I don’t want to be anything but 
in love with you

I want you to kiss me in the dark
navigate your way to me
underneath the stars

hello you whispered
hello I whispered back
my mornings don’t feel the same
without your whispers between the sheets

early October in wyoming
trees drifting with the autumn winds
it’s quiet, moody
with grey skies and never ending
your hand is in mine
and we are infinite

for twenty six years I refused to settle
then you came along
with your entire being
and cradled my soul

I’d wait another twenty six for you

I met a boy, he was so beautiful
he was blue skies and summer waves
he covered me like a warm wind
I met a boy
who was loved, and who didn’t want to be loved
by anyone but the boy he had

it was too early to give you my heart
so I gave you my soul
and everything in between

it was in the songs we listened to
while driving in your car
words of beautiful people
and falling
now I listen to those songs
when I need you here

I still feel the kisses on the edge of my mouth
when you smile into me
I wish I could play your happiness
on repeat

he loves you
don’t fuck this up

I was convinced I was never to be in love
until the day I heard you laugh for the
first time
I could have sworn my heart spoke to me
‘let him have me’

you infect me like a disease I’d happily live with

lovers from the suburbs
there’s nothing minimum about you
you are heat
a never ending warm wind
essential to my being
essential to me

would you believe me if I told you
I am the happiest when I am with you
could you handle that
you’d be the only one with the power to break me
please don’t

you were Friday nights and Sunday mornings
you were becoming the roots to my world
not god-like
but a religion, just for me

I no longer stress about the small things
knowing I have you
has put things into perspective
it is all clear now
blurry lines obsolete

you’ve evolved on me
a tighter grip to my heart
the right amount of pressure
to keep me living

i took with me all i could. visions of clothes on your bedroom floor. your body cradled into mine before the light of a sunday morning. tracing lips with fingertips, your hands chasing mine between intertwined limbs. my body is getting used to you, as your mattress is getting used to me. without thinking i whisper your name. your eyes remain closed; did i say it aloud or was it in my head. is this all in my head. one by one i remember the days spent between our weekends. where you were so often busy amongst my thoughts i often lost track of time. i want nothing more than to show you to the world; i have been scared to do that. because for so long it has been only me. until now. loving you is easy. you make me want to become the best version of myself and i think i may soon become him. every moment away from you is shared with lonely nights and deep travels through my memory pool. i navigate your features sometimes, in silence, yet you always seem to notice. “what are you thinking” you would always ask. i would always respond with “nothing” because how do i tell a face like yours that if another got to see you as i do in these moments, that it would destroy me beyond it all. the best moments of my life have never been shared. they are private, they are simple. you’re beginning to be a regular in the moments i shelve away, just for myself. i like that, and i want more of that. i want more of you. i want more of us.

Willow 2© brandonalexanderthomas