we were sun kissed 
and foolish
and never once did we
wish to be 
anything else

you have seen my skin
all of it
yet here we sit
in a coffee shop
by the window
and as we watch the rain slide
down the glass
we managed still
to talk only about our day
and other basic nonsense
as if we were
strangers

late at night
with eyes closed
my mind alive;
wild
with thoughts of you

i am losing time
it may already be gone
so i say to you now
even though it feels
wrong;
i like you more than
i should

we could of
but you closed your eyes
and looked anywhere
but at me

it’s 12:01
and i wonder if
you ever look at 
the time
and think of
me

it had been so long since
i navigated your features
from across the room
but you didn’t know
i did that;
never would

i crept outside
and told the night sky that
i loved you
and it was
invigorating

we shook hands like old friends
but the feelings that drifted
through me when
our hands touched;
they were unknown,
they were
foreign

i hope you understand that
when i speak the words
you consider just how hard
it was
to say them to
you

it’s odd isn’t it
how we find ourselves in these
little predicaments of
attraction
to those we have no place
in exposing
our hearts to

i have been by myself
all this time
because when you ask your
questions
i want to make sure that
i have all
the answers

i look at you
you at me
and time stops
just for a second
and we hold each other’s gaze like it’s
the last thing
we will ever
do

we look at each other
like we are about to kiss
but you would never kiss me
and it breaks me every time

The lines i would cross
you have no idea
the things i would do
you could not imagine
just to be with you

We’re waiting for the other
to be the brave one

You keep asking if i will tell him
but i don’t think you understand
not completely
because if you did
you would know that
it would kill me
to hear what he would say back

I gave you the power 
to destroy me
and you chose words 
to ease my soul
but not soothe my heart

I want my heart to dance
to feel it beat through my skin
to feel something more than the ache
you put it through
completely unaware

i’m coming home
i’ll be there soon
please wait
don’t go

fingertips on lips
tender intention
touching and discovering
toying with innocence
and then its just lips
and we lose it all

i refuse to share myself
with temporary people
what a waste

how does my name end up in the mouths
of people i have never met

i am weak

she was guns and roses
and a little del rey

i have had a difficult time
exploring who i am
who am i?

tears confuse me
for they carry pain and darkness
yet appear quite the contrary

i need someone to understand my soul
i have no time to translate

you weren’t popular
you didn’t belong at the parties

treat me to your touch
and push me down the river
let me float downstream
into the arms of another
my heart is warm
but my soul is leaving me
black clouds await
no light to lead me

the last seven years
have been very personal

you drive to the supermarket 
in a merc you never paid for
and buy quinoa and lactose free everything

the attraction you can’t explain
yeah that one
i feel you

© brandonalexanderthomas